I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
