You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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