I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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