we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
