Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i now understand why vodka
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize