We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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