so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
