You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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