Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
