Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize