You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
