The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
