upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I checked into jail on foursquare
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
