Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i believe in u and ur pee
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
