We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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