I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
did you just send me my own nude
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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