Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize