Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
