If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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