This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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