I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I supernannyed him into submission
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
