I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize