did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize