wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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