its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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