Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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