People in love make me want to vomit
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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