i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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