can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
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please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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