He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
