It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
