so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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