if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize