I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
