In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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