Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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