I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
