just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
