i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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