one two three fourrrrnication!
Its about making memories worth repressing
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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