"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he thought i was a dude.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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