He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize