He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just gift wrapped bread.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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