Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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