did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
