Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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