He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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