Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
