i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize