Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
