His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
