I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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