i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
