I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
