What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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