I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
