i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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