You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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