I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
